


Bend and Snap

by madrefiero



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bend and Snap, Clint Barton Bingo 2019, Fluff, Human Disaster Clint Barton, Legally Blonde References, M/M, Meet-Cute, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, we were talking about legally blonde at work and then this fic happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 22:17:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21083996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madrefiero/pseuds/madrefiero
Summary: This sucked worse than bad. He'd never been this humiliated in his life. He tried to tell Natasha it was a bad plan, but she'd insisted."I'm so sorry. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just a dumbass, standing in front of a hot delivery guy, trying to get noticed. I just...suck at, well everything. I'll make this up to you somehow, just please don't sue me or anything."





	Bend and Snap

**Author's Note:**

> Clint Barton Bingo square I3 - "Falling"
> 
> This is my first ever bingo square fill! I enjoyed writing this so much!

Aw, futz.

One second everything was fine. Everything was better than fine, actually. He was pretty sure things were about to he really awesome. But in a snap, Clint Barton regretted every life choice he ever made that landed him there. Trust her she said. It'll work, she said. God damn it, Tasha. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------- 

"It has an eighty-three percent return rate on a dinner invitation."

Natasha was trying to give Clint the encouragement he needed to finally make a move on the hot UPS guy that made deliveries to the salon every week. Clint, as always, was making up excuses not to while he applied a clear top coat to her freshly painted nails. It wasn't that he didn't want to, it was that things never went according to plan for him. He was a human dumpster fire and he knew it. He always found a way to screw things up. Despite his protests and insistence that this was a disaster waiting to happen, Natasha made him practice until he had it absolutely perfect. 

Once he had it down, the waiting began. Every jingle of the bell above the door had his heart racing. After the third day of no UPS guy, Clint was tempted to "forget" his hearing aids at home. He couldn't take another eight hours of hearing that bell ring, feeling his heartbeat out of his chest, then the disappointment that followed when he realized it was just another salon client. Not that he didn't love his clients, hell Tasha had been a client before she became his best friend, but this was different. He missed seeing his UPS guy. The man was gorgeous with long, dark hair pulled back into a messy little bun, and his legs...God, his legs were great. He somehow managed to make those dorky brown shorts look like absolute sex. Clint wasn't entirely sure how that was possible, but somehow it was. 

It was just before lunch that Friday when the bell jingles and Clint's heart practically stopped when he looked up. Standing there with a box tucked under one arm, bathed in sunlight like he'd been sent from the heavens was his UPS guy. By that time everyone in the salon knew about Clint's crush on him, so no one else dared make a move to sign for the package. Clint did his best to look presentable, or at least to look like something other than the walking disaster he was, and stepped out from behind his station. He threw on a bright smile, hiding the nerves inside that were telling him he was stupid for even thinking about this guy. Except then he smiled back and Clint was just fucking gone.

"Hi, I uh…" The guy's ears went pink, and Clint wasn't sure what to make of that. "I just need someone to sign for the package."

Clint hesitated, standing there for what felt like an abnormally long time before his brain started working again. His mouth had gone dry, and he was sure he looked like a fish out of water as he extended his hand for the clipboard and tried to answer.

"I don't have a pen."

"Here you go, sweetheart." UPS guy grinned easily and grabbed the one that was stuck through through his hair.

Clint's brain shorted out at the pet name and he plucked the pen from his fingers. He remembered his plan too late. It may have been painfully obvious that he was faking it, but he dropped the pen to the ground, holding eye contact with his dream guy as it tumbled to the floor. Clint's expression went from dumbfounded to nervous to coy in a second, and he nibbled his bottom lip in what he hoped was a flirty manner.

"Oops."

Replaying everything Natasha taught him in his head, he leaned over, bending at the waist. He kept his back as flat as possible, hoping like hell it made his ass look good. With the pen back in hand he popped up, giving himself a mental "snap" in Natasha's voice. Except the only snap was the sound of UPS hottie's nose breaking when the back of Clint's head smacked into it, sending them both falling onto the floor. He swore they both fell in slow motion. Apparently the guy was a gentleman and had bent down to pick up the pen for him, and Clint was a moron trying and failing to flirt. He rubbed his ass where he'd landed hard on the floor, and cringed when he looked over at UPS guy.

"Aw, futz. Oh my God...shit. Your nose." Clint was on the edge of a panic attack. Of course he would break the guy's nose instead of getting a date. Textbook Barton luck. He scrambled to grab a towel to stop the blood that had already made a mess of the guy's perfect face. This sucked worse than bad. He'd never been this humiliated in his life. He tried to tell Natasha it was a bad plan, but she'd insisted. 

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just a dumbass, standing in front of a hot delivery guy, trying to get noticed. I just...suck at, well everything. I'll make this up to you somehow, just please don't sue me or anything."

"You're only a dumbass for thinking I haven't noticed you before." He smiled and winced at the pain from his nose, then held the towel there to stop the bleeding. "I've been trying to get up the nerve to talk to you for months. I'm James. You can call me Bucky. And you can make it up to me by letting me take you out to dinner sometime."

Clint's brain shorted out and had to reboot before he sputtered out an answer.

"Clint. And you can take me to dinner anytime."


End file.
